According to Marshall Goldsmith the way to greater satisfaction in life is asking yourself at least 2 questions every day:
1. Did I do my best?
2. Did I do what was right?
In doing so you can create a habit of “reflection”. Start small, keep at it and fix a time for reflection.
The long version
Just the other day, last week in fact, I got to meet (online thanks to @ICFUAE) a hero of mine. One of the world’s top Executive Coaches, Leadership Thinker, Speaker, Author and Professor of Management Practice @Marshall Goldsmith. I was a little star-struck and when he answered one of my questions I felt a flush of self-consciousness.
Marshal explained that he now calls himself a “Knowledge Philanthropist” – that’s right, he met with us not to give a taster ahead of selling something, but just to share knowledge, so that we, as coaches, can help even more people. What a legend!
Incredible how much I learnt. One of the other techniques he taught I used the very next day, with a corporate client in Hong Kong, and since then in both Sydney and London – and yes, I’m loving the surge to online that the COVID era has spawned.
What I love about Marshalls’ tools is they are so in line with my core value and philosophy of SIMPLE.
Anyway I’m getting over-excited, and I can’t share it all here – maybe I’ll get time for a longer article, and I will impart the simplest, most impactful tools he shared.
1. Ask yourself each day, ‘did I do my best?’
2. Ask yourself each day, ‘did I do what was right?’
Easy eh? If you want to go further, read 6 questions for mastery below.
It turns out reflection is easy once you start, and powerful, yet so few people take the time to do so.
Why should we 'reflect'?
Research has shown that employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting on lessons learned performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. (1)
23% increase in performance just from reflecting! That’s nuts!
So why don't we do it? Simple.
- It's overwhelming.
- We don't know what it means.
- It's 'woo woo' or 'fluffy'
- Defensiveness and conditioning towards ”Doing” or Reactive Tendencies rather than clarity on how we want to “Be” or creative competences. (2)
- We just don't know how.
Keep it simple!
Here's my 3 simple steps to satisfaction:
1. Start small.
I ask my clients to start with just 3 minutes a day. Who can’t do three minutes? Find out what works for you, often journaling, just consider the questions and write down whatever comes to mind. Just put pen to paper and see what comes up.
2. Keep at it.
Why not just try 10 days? Don’t underestimate the impact of completing a small task on positive emotions. When you get to 10 days, make it 21. Time to form a habit!
3. Fix a time.
End of the day, commute on the way home, or just when you arrive, it’s a nice way to clear the head and transition from work mindset to home and family. You time. 70% of employees find it difficult to unwind after work and worry about their job. Why not use this to transition?
6 questions for satisfaction!
Marshall has proven in his research that asking yourself an expanded list of six questions (and you can add to them) each day leads to greater satisfaction in life.
Did I do my best to…
1. Set clear goals?
2. Make progress toward goal achievement?
3. Be happy?
4. Find meaning?
5. Build positive relationships?
6. Be fully engaged?
That’s not so much effort for a better life is it? You can add and or amend them. And as I said, I like keeping it simple.
Let me know in the comments how you get on, I’ll do a 10-day challenge as well.
References
- 1. R.J Anderson, W. A. Adams 2016 “Mastering Leadership”
- 2 Di Stefano, (et al) 2016 “Making Experience Count: The Role of Reflection in Individual Learning”
