I just got off an insightful call with a Senior Leader in one of the companies I’m delivering my Thriving Culture – Senior Leadership Team program. The wonderful mix of “dominance” and high levels of empathy in this individual is inspiring to observe.
Empathy, from my perspective, by the way, is being able to put yourself in someone- else’s shoes and imagine how THEY feel (as opposed to yourself) and then do something about it. Compassionate Leadership.
We had a conversation about honesty, trust, and what they mean. Explore the different dimensions of trust. “It would mean a different thing for everyone,” and the two that we explored were:
Reliability
Discretion/Confidentiality
Trust is the foundation for my work and building thriving teams. Vulnerability trust is now commonly referred to as psychological safety, and it’s more than that.
I love thin books, and “The Thin Book of Trust” – by Charles Feltman is full of wisdom.
He defines trust as:
"Choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”
That’s one to ponder at length! What does it mean to you exactly?
Anyway…
Feltman’s dimensions of trust are:
Sincerity: You are honest.
Reliability: You meet the commitments you make, and you keep your promises.
Competence: You can do what you are doing or propose to do.
Care: You have the other person’s interests in mind and your own when making decisions and taking action.
From all my work with teams, I have found that another dimension is critical, as highlighted again by the leader today.
That of confidentiality and or discretion.
As a coach and facilitator, confidentiality is a platform for creating a space where individuals and teams can be open, and that openness needs to be there when there is no coach around – that’s the point.
I find that although it is assumed that everyone has the same view and that you “shouldn’t have to state it,” a great tool is to “Design the Alliance” – to invite the team to agree to and explore what confidentiality means and to all agree how they will be.
Only then and you have real commitment and hold each other accountable.
